Seeing the Porsche 911 Dakar 2023 in the sand testThe old world is dying and the new world is struggling to be born. Now is the time for the Porsche 911 Dakar 2023.

For as long as the human race has breathed, Chimeras and monsters have disturbed our understanding. Thought to be the stuff of legend, they haunt our dreams and the dark corners of our unwelcome thoughts. Try to look at them directly, and they will escape before our brains recognize their impossible nature.

The unholy illusion of lions’ heads and snakes’ tails. Devilish griffin with vultures vultures and ward big cats. German sports coupe infidels with raised suspension and all-terrain tires that throw sand on skid plates that protect its rear-mounted engines.

All things evil. This is where the most corrupt come in. Isn’t it glorious?

Seeing the Porsche 911 Dakar 2023 in the snow test

911 off-road vehicle at dealerships

Porsche has taken one of the coolest things ever built for the road and used magic and dark, unforgettable imaginations to prepare it for sand, snow and mud.

The Porsche 911 Dakar 2023 isn’t a terrible one-off thing made for one race. You’ll find it in showrooms next year. You can own one. Perhaps the gods of history will defend you from the wrath it brings.

Porsche says it “will be the first two-door sports car to offer outstanding off-road capabilities.” Porsche only… it says so. As if forgotten Cassandras didn’t warn us about it.

[ed – Sean, you have to break character here and point out that Porsche has a bit of rally racing history and has even won the Paris-Dakar Rally in a modified 911 before.]

[Can’t. Scared.]

Seeing the Porsche 911 Dakar 2023 in mountain tests

Already tested all over the world

Porsche says it put 300,000 miles into the mule test to develop this demonic union of a 911 and a commemorative truck. Porsche threw it in the snow in Sweden. They jumped over sand dunes in Morocco. They installed it on the Château de Lastours off-road track in southern France to “test the car’s handling on typical rally courses and suspension tuning.”

Supposed at night to hide her terrible beauty from an unprepared world.

Even Romain Dumas, a Porsche test driver, says he was confused by the task he undertook to test drive the 911 on unstable gravel shifts. “I knew what the 911 could do on the road, but I was totally surprised how loosely the car performed here,” Dumas says.

Two-time World Rally Champion Walter Ruhrl holds a beast in a frozen lake in Sweden. “No Porsche customer would believe all the things you can do with this car before they drive it themselves,” he says.

Porsche 911 Dakar 2023 jumps in dirt road tests

Like most creatures of myth, we can only speculate on what supports it. Rumor has it that it’s the twin-turbo 3.0-liter flat-6 from the Carrera 4S, with 443 horsepower.

Porsche will unleash the beast at the Los Angeles Auto Show next week. For now, they have submitted photos. Those splendid silhouettes of sand under the four wheels suggest all-wheel drive.

That’s all the world can know about this Eldrich god in the automotive world right now. Porsche will cast her from the spells that impeded her on November 16 in Los Angeles — at 10 p.m., likely to preserve the day’s innocence.

We can’t wait.

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